


Girl Next Door

by fratdadfan



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:35:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23114053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fratdadfan/pseuds/fratdadfan
Summary: Kelley falls for her older sister's best friend
Relationships: Alex Morgan/Kelley O'Hara
Comments: 33
Kudos: 344





	1. Chapter 1

* * *

Alex is the definition of the girl next door. Literally.

Kelley could vividly remember the day that the Morgans moved in to the brown two-story house across the street. The moving truck rumbling into the driveway, the California license plates, the black lab wagging its tail when it jumped down from the bed of the truck.

And most importantly, the girl with the long brown hair.

Kelley and Erin had watched from behind the big oak tree in their front yard, anxiously awaiting their new neighbors. Their neighborhood had an odd abundance of families with sons, and while Kelley didn’t mind playing with Sam or Charlie or Zach, she was dying for a girl her own age to move onto her street.

Kelley thought her wish might just be granted as three girls dropped down from the truck and onto the pavement. Two of the girls were tall and blonde and Kelley guessed they were older, probably in high school by the looks of it.

But the third girl was different. She was shorter, hopefully closer to her own age Kelley thought, and had medium brown hair reaching past her shoulders. She paid special attention to the dog that roamed curiously across the lawn, patting between its ears and squealing joyously when it jumped up on her.

Kelley was mesmerized.

It wasn’t until the girl across the street looked up and straight into Kelley’s eyes that she realized she was no longer hidden behind the tree, but instead leaning so far out from behind it that she was nearly falling over.

The girl across the street gave a shy smile, and lifted her hand to wave.

Kelley waved back.

“Alex, come help with these boxes!” Kelley heard a voice call out from somewhere in the house.

The girl turned her head towards the noise, then sent one last look over her shoulder at Kelley and Erin before running inside.

_Alex._ Kelley thought. What a pretty name.

_7 years later_

Kelley leans back against the pool chair in her backyard trying her hardest to enjoy her last day of summer vacation. On Monday she would return to Stars Mill High to start her sophomore year of high school, and gone would be the freedom of long school-less summer days.

“Hey! No peaking! Eyes closed.”

Christen sends a playful splash at the boy in the water causing Kelley to peak over the top of her book. She smiles fondly at the two of them. Sam and Christen, her very best friends in the world.

It had been a summer that Kelley never wanted to end. The trio were thick as thieves, spending their days jumping into Kelley’s pool, and nights surrounding the firepit in Christen’s backyard.

Kelley had even passed her driver’s test in the beginning of August, after Erin had stressfully taught her how to drive in the parking lot of the abandoned strip mall across town.

“Kelley are you ever going to come in?” Sam asks, once again drawing Kelley’s attention away from her book. She looks up at him and sees a hopeful smile gracing his face.

Sam was her very first friend, the boy who stuck up for her in first grade when a mean girl pulled her hair on the playground.

And since then they had been great friends. He was funny and thoughtful, and someone she could always count on. And that goofy smile of his was _so_ endearing in a way that only he could pull off.

Christen joked that she and Sam would make such a cute couple, and insisted that he had a crush on her. But Kelley just didn’t see it. She liked how things were now, all three of them equally platonic, no romantic feelings messing things up. There was also that other problem, that tiny seed of doubt in the back of Kelley’s head that she didn’t like to think about too much. It’s just that she had never met a boy that she liked, not in the way that she saw in the movies or read about in books. While most of her friends at school seemed to be boy-crazy, Kelley just wasn’t. 

“I’ll come in later, once I finish this chapter.” She responds.

She feels a long shadow cast over her body.

“Wormy!”

Kelley perks up, spinning around to see Alex and Erin standing behind her. She internally cringes at the nickname Alex gave her when she was twelve.

It had something to do with a dare, and a worm on the sidewalk, and Kelley might have happened to eat it.

It was incredibly gross, but if there is one thing for sure, Kelley O’Hara does not back down from a dare. But that doesn’t mean she has to like the nickname.

Yet, if it’s Alex saying it, she can’t help but smile.

It turns out that Kelley’s wish had not come true when she hoped that a girl her age would move into her neighborhood. Alex happened to be two years older than her, in Erin’s grade, placed in the same class even, and the two girls became best friends almost instantly.

It’s not that two years is a very big age difference. In fact, in the grand scheme of things it is miniscule. It’s just that when you are in middle school, you don’t want to hang out with elementary school babies. So Erin and Alex became best friends, and Kelley became the left out younger sister.

But Alex was always so very nice to Kelley that she didn’t really mind too much.

“Alex! I didn’t realize you were back! How was LA? How was your summer?” Kelley rattles off excitedly. She can’t wait to hear about the adventures Alex had while living in California with her uncle.

“Oh you know, I just spent my days saving lives, no big deal.” Alex laughs good naturedly, flipping her long hair over her shoulder.

“Shut up, you were just a lifeguard.” Erin says rolling her eyes but a smirk edges at the corner of her mouth. Alex brushes off the comment and gushes a bit more about her vacation before focusing in on Kelley.

She leans in slightly and grabs at a strand of Kelley’s hair, pulling it taut as if to measure it.

“Kelley, your hair has gotten so long, I like it. It makes you look…” Alex pauses for a second, her eyes flicking quickly over Kelley’s body before focusing back in on her face, “…older.”

For some reason, Kelley’s skin is burning, a blush creeping high into her cheeks.

“You look older too, Alex.” It’s Sam.

It had only been a minute, but for some reason, Kelley had forgotten that he was there.

Alex drops the strand of Kelley’s hair and looks over to Sam with a charming smile. Kelley turns to look at him too, his comment catching her by surprise. But it is true. Alex does look older, all tanned from her long days at the beach, and a perfectly flat stomach with toned arms to match.

Suddenly, Kelley is extremely aware of the sheer expanse of skin that Alex is flaunting in front of them. She looks _good,_ and she knows it.

And Kelley isn’t the only one who seems to have noticed. Sam is straight up ogling Alex and the tight red bikini that is hugging her curves in all the right places.

If Kelley is sweating, it’s only from the hot Georgia sun she tells herself.

“How many people pretended to drown so that they could be saved by you?” Sam asks with an eager grin.

Is he seriously _flirting?_ Kelley wonders, and it makes something tug harshly in her chest. She narrows her eyes at him, wishing he would just shut up already and stop staring at Alex like that. A thought creeps into the back of her mind that maybe she might be the tiniest bit jealous. But she pushes the idea down and away, because that is impossible. She doesn’t even like Sam like that, so why would she care?

And it’s not like he is the first boy to have a crush on _the_ Alex Morgan. Because Alex has surely had her fair share of admirers.

She is the most popular girl in all of Star’s Mill High. And not the bitchy kind of popular that everyone secretly loathes. She’s the nice kind, so effortlessly smart and easy to talk to and she’s also got that cool California girl thing going for her. She is one of the most genuine girls that Kelley has ever met.

And it seems like everyone either wants to be Alex, or be _with_ Alex.

As for Kelley, she just desperately wants to be Alex’s friend. Even though she is a Senior, and Erin’s best friend, Kelley just wants to the older girl to like her. She just really admires her is all.

She is also the captain of the soccer team and committed to Berkeley on a full-ride scholarship, the best athlete their school has seen in years.

It also doesn’t hurt that she hast that model perfect face of hers, with high cheekbones and those long lashes lidding crystal blue eyes. Something about her is just so… _irresistible,_ is the word Kelley thinks. And Alex is looking even better after her summer under the California sun, so she guesses she can see why Sam might be developing a little crush. But that doesn’t mean she has to like it.

When Erin and Alex head inside, Sam follows them in on the pretenses of getting more lemonade, and Kelley just glares at his back. She sees Christen give her a look, like she can read Kelley’s mind, and it only serves to make her more annoyed. She tilts her sunglasses over her eyes and reopens her book, not quite in the mood to talk about anything at all.

\--

Kelley hears two sharp knocks on her bedroom door.

“Come in.”

“Hey Worms.” Alex says. She enters and crosses the room, taking a seat next to Kelley on her bed. “We didn’t really get to catch up much earlier.” She knocks Kelley’s knee with her own, giving her a playful smile. Kelley slides over to make more room for her.

“As your future captain, I hope you practiced a lot this summer, I don’t want to see any slacking from you this year, O’Hara.”

Kelley rolls her eyes, “The soccer season doesn’t start until March, Alex.”

“Hey, I don’t want any of that sass,” Alex pauses, “Just because you were some hot shot freshman on Varsity last year doesn’t mean that I won’t make you run laps.” Alex raises her eyebrows at Kelley and puts on a face that is meant to look serious, but Kelley can see the glimmer in the corner of her eye that means she’s joking. It’s only another moment until they are both giggling at Alex’s attempt at being authoritative.

“You were my favorite little freshman last year, you know that?” Alex states once they have both stopped laughing. And Kelley scrunches her nose at the phrasing. She’s not _that_ young. But before Kelley can protest, Alex is speaking again.

“Oh hey, I heard you got your driver’s license. Does that mean I don’t have to drive your ass home from practice anymore?” Alex asks.

“Yeah, maybe I’ll be the one driving you from now on.” Kelley pokes Alex in the shoulder as she speaks, “That is, if Erin ever lets me have the car.” She smirks and Alex smiles back.

“Well if she doesn’t let you, I’ll still drive you around,” Alex pauses briefly, “I like our Kelley-Alex alone time. Just don’t tell Erin.” She winks and Kelley for some reason feels her face flush, She lets out a shaky laugh before clearing her throat, not quite sure what to say.

“Well I’d better get going, best not to keep Erin waiting.” Alex says and stands. 

Once Alex has left the room, Kelley finds herself thinking that the soccer season can’t come soon enough.

\--

Something has changed since Alex has returned and Kelley can’t quite put her finger on it. Alex had always been nice to her, really. That’s just how she is. But they weren’t really that close. They were friendly in the way that people are with their sibling’s friends.

But now, something was different.

In Kelley’s house, her bedroom was the first room to the left at the top of the stairs, her younger brother Jerry’s room was across the hall, and Erin’s was at the end of it.

So when Alex came over to hang out with Erin, she would pass by Kelley’s room and usually pop her head in quickly to say ‘hi’ as she passed by, because she was Alex, and she was polite.

Kelley doesn’t know when it started to happen, but soon, Alex was completely stopping in the doorway, always two sharp knocks to announce her presence. She would waltz into Kelley’s room and ask her what she was up to or ask her how she was doing. And suddenly, these Alex-interactions started to become the best part of Kelley’s day.

She found herself thinking in advance what to say when Alex would come in, planning interesting things she could be doing if the older girl happened to stop by.

And if she started to leave her door open a little bit wider, it really was just a coincidence.

One day Alex leans up against Kelley’s doorframe, crossing her arms across her chest in that effortlessly cool way that Kelley so admired.

“What’s up Wormy?” Alex asks, and Kelley looks up in surprise.

“Alex, what are you doing here? Erin’s not home. She’s at a dentist’s appointment or something.” Kelley says.

“I know.” Alex rolls her eyes, “I’m here to hang out with you.” A flash of nervousness cascades through Kelley’s chest. She doesn’t know why. _Calm down, it’s just Alex_ , she tells herself.

The older girl enters the room, and sits on Kelley’s bed as if it is something she does all the time.

When Erin returns later she finds the two sprawled across Kelley’s bed in hysterics at a video on Alex’s phone.

“Al, ready to go?” Erin asks, and Kelley can’t quite tell, but she thinks the tone in her voice might be annoyance. 

Alex calms her breathing and pushes a stray strand of hair out of her face.

“Yeah, just a minute.” She says, collecting her things and following Erin out of the room, but not before sending a private smile to Kelley over her shoulder.

Something flutters deep in Kelley’s stomach, and she tells herself that it must be from all the laughing.

\--

It turns out, Christen may have been right about the whole Sam-liking-her thing. It becomes apparent on a Thursday afternoon as the bell tolls out one final time for the day. Kelley stands at her locker packing up to head home as she and Christen argue about which movie they should see this weekend. As she closes her locker she’s bombarded with a face full of flowers, her senses clouded by the rosy scent.

Before she can understand what is happening, Sam lowers the bouquet, thrusting it into Kelley’s hands.

“Will you go to Homecoming with me?” He asks.

And Kelley feels frozen. She can see Christen out of the corner of her eye, a mega-watt grin taking over her face. Her mind races.

 _No no no no._ She thinks. _Just friends._ She thinks.

But she feels herself grasping the stem of the bouquet. And she hears herself say yes.

How could she say no to her best friend? Not with those big hopeful blue eyes looking at her all expectantly. Not with Christen nodding her head so confidently next to her.

So she just nods her head and smiles back.

Sam offers to drive her home, and Kelley lets him. She’s hopes he doesn’t notice how quiet she is in the car ride, instead just listening to him rattle on about how excited he is for the night.

When she walks into her home, she is greeted by her mother and Erin standing around the kitchen island.

“Who are the flowers from Kel?” Erin asks.

“Sam. He kind of asked me to Homecoming, I guess.” Kelley says. She really doesn’t want to talk about this.

At the same time, Erin and her mother squeal in excitement, rushing towards Kelley and enveloping her in a three-way hug. They start to gush over what Kelley should wear, and her mom says something about a boutonniere, and it is all starting to make her head spin.

“I always knew he had a crush on you, Kel.” Erin says, the grin on her face turning smug.

“Who’s always had a crush on Kelley?” Alex says walking into the kitchen. Kelley feels her face heat in embarrassment. She hadn’t realized Alex was over.

“Sam asked Kelley to Homecoming!” Kelley’s mom says, and the excitement in her voice makes Kelley want to be happy too.

She looks to Alex for her reaction, and she sees that she is smiling that effortlessly brilliant smile of hers. She claps her hands together in front of her.

“Sam on the soccer team? That’s awesome, Kelley! You guys will make a really cute couple.” Alex says as she points a finger at her, “You better let me do your makeup.”

Kelley nods and says of course and wonders why she wishes Alex had reacted differently.

\--

After some convincing by Christen, and her mom, and Erin, Kelley was starting to actually look forward to the Homecoming dance. Even though she had at first dreaded it, she decided to just let herself be happy to spend the night dancing and having fun with her friends.

Besides, it wasn’t as if being with Sam was the worst thing in the world. He was one of her very best friends, and she had to admit that he was what you could call conventional attractive, with bright blue eyes, curly blonde hair, and a sharp jawline. Not to mention they had so much in common, they both loved soccer, and movies and he really made her laugh harder than anyone she knew.

So when her mom told her that she should just give it a try, saying maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to be interested in a handsome young man like Sam, Kelley agreed. She didn’t want to think about why she was holding back so much in the first place.

On the night of the dance, Kelley hears two sharp knocks on her door.

“Come in.” Kelley calls out.

“Ready to let me do your makeup?” Alex asks.

Kelley nods, and lets Alex guide her to the bed, where she lays back and props her head up on her pillows. Alex tells her it will be easiest this way. And suddenly, before Kelley can stop her, Alex is climbing on top of Kelley, straddling her on the bed as if it is the most natural thing to do. Kelley is suddenly hyperaware of the heat radiating from Alex’s legs onto her sides and it makes something flip in her stomach. She pushes down the feeling and tries her hardest to concentrate on the ceiling fan above Alex’s head.

She sets to work on Kelley’s makeup, first applying foundation, then eyeshadow and mascara, making comments here and there, but mostly staying quiet as she focuses on what she is doing.

Lastly, Alex pulls out a slim tube of lipstick from her makeup bag. A nude-ish pink color.

“To make you extra kissable.” She says with a wink and Kelley feels her legs involuntarily twitch. If Alex notices, she doesn’t say anything, instead uncapping the lipstick and giving the bottom of the tube a twist.

She places a steadying hand on Kelley’s shoulder as she leans in close to carefully paint the glossy pink onto Kelley’s lips. Her eyes are so very focused in on the task at hand, and Kelley finds herself thinking that the way Alex scrunches her eyebrows together is so incredibly attractive. She guesses she can see why so many boys like her.

When she’s finished applying the lipstick, Alex sticks a finger into Kelley’s mouth without warning.

In the moment Kelley feels her stomach churn uncontrollably and she knows then that is definitely not a normal reaction. At least not a normal reaction for someone who only likes boys. But before Kelley can process the moment any further, Alex is removing her finger.

She looks down onto Kelley’s surprised face and laughs.

“It’s to keep the lipstick off your teeth. Wouldn’t want that, would we?” She presses herself off of Kelley and lands deftly on the floor. As she walks to the door to leave the room she turns and looks back and smiles.

“You really look gorgeous Kel.” And with that she leaves.

Kelley sits there in stunned silence, remembering the feeling of the weight of Alex’s body on her own, of the smooth finger in her mouth. She sits back and closes her eyes in panic.

 _What the hell was that_? She thinks

Later on Kelley meets up with Sam, and Christen, and Jack, Christen’s date, in her living room to take pictures.

“You look amazing.” Sam says looking Kelley up and down, and she reaches down to flatten out her blue dress against her knees. For some reason it makes her blush. Kelley’s mom makes them all huddle together and say ‘cheese’ more times than Kelley thinks is necessary.

They hear the doorbell ring.

And before anyone can even turn towards the sound, Erin is bounding down the stairs yelling, “I’ve got it!”

She swings the door open and there stand two tall and dapperly-dressed Senior boys. Kelley knows the one on the left is Erin’s date, Tom.

When she looks to right and sees the other boy she gulps down a thick swallow of disappointment.

Servando.

Alex’s sort-of-boyfriend. Kelley isn’t too sure what their status is, and she definitely wasn’t about to ask now.

It’s not that Kelley had forgotten about Servando, it’s just that she didn’t know if he had asked Alex to Homecoming or not. They didn’t really talk about boys together to be honest.

He stands there looking dashing in his navy blue suit, a bright smile on his face when he spots Alex at the top of the stairs.

She meets him in the doorway and he wraps his arms low around her waist before whispering something in her ear. It makes Kelley’s throat clench, so she looks away, wondering why she is so affected by the moment.

\--

At the dance Kelley tries her hardest to focus on Sam, she really does, but she can’t help it if she at times sneaks glances across the dancefloor at Alex and Servando. Alex’s black dress looks so perfect on her, flowing over her curves and showing just the right amount of skin. And Kelley’s eyes are drawn in like magnets.

When the Homecoming King and Queen are announced, Kelley isn’t one bit surprised when Alex and Servando win. They truly are a power couple, both captains of their respective soccer teams, well-liked throughout the school, and both are so undeniably attractive.

Alex places the tiara on her head delicately, a shy smile taking over her face as Servando leans in and plants a kiss on the corner of her mouth.

Kelley once again finds herself looking away from the couple, instead choosing to look at Sam, who seems to be having the time of his life.

He senses Kelley looking at him and turns to face her as a slow song starts up over the speakers. He smiles at her easily and reaches out his hand in a silent question. She takes it and lets him wrap her body closer to him, lets him lead them in a slow sway, lets him rest his hands low on her waist.

And it should feel perfect.

But it doesn’t.

Over Sam’s shoulder, she spots Alex across the room slow-dancing with Servando. She can’t help the way that her eyes follow them.

As if Alex senses she is being watched, she looks up and makes eye-contact with Kelley. The corner of her mouth tilts up into a half smile, and she lifts her hand giving Kelley a small wave.

Kelley waves back.


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

Sam asks Kelley on a date shortly after the Homecoming dance, and although she thinks she should probably say no, she can’t bring herself to with Sam’s baby blue eyes staring at her like that.

So she says yes.

When she tells Erin and Alex later on that night, she admits to them that she is a bit nervous since she's never been on a real date before. Alex surprises her with an idea.

“What if we make it a double date? You, me, Sam, and Serv? I think they know each other from soccer, I’m sure they would be fine with it.” And Kelley feels herself smiling, her nerves rolling off her like waves.

They meet up at a popular diner in the middle of town and Alex offers to drive Kelley there.

“So… you and Servando.” Kelley says as Alex rolls up to a stop sign. A small grin crosses Alex’s face. She keeps her eyes trained on the road ahead.

“Yeah. Me and Servando.” Alex says and it becomes clear that she isn’t going to say something more unless Kelley asks.

“Are you dating?”

The smile on Alex’s face grows by a fraction.

“Yes. He asked me to be his girlfriend after the dance.”

“Oh.”

Kelley pushes away the feeling of disappointment, forcing herself to say something else.

“Well, you guys make a really cute couple.” She opts for.

“Thanks.” Alex says, and the smile grows once more.

On the date, Kelley has a surprisingly good time. She slides into the booth and sits down next to Sam, Alex sitting across from her. Sam makes her laugh and even blush when he comments on how nice she looks. He’s the perfect gentleman too, standing when she arrives and offering to pay for her meal.

And Alex is so funny and nice too, making jokes that have Kelley nearly spitting up her drink, and sometimes their knees bump under the table but Kelley doesn’t really notice it _that_ much. And she is so effortlessly cool in a way that Kelley can barely comprehend.

She thinks for a moment that she could actually get used to dates like this. That it really isn’t so bad after all.

But when Alex and Serv decide to split a milkshake at the end of the meal, Kelley can’t help the way that her stomach lurches. She can’t help the way she has to look away from Alex’s blush as she and Servando both lean in to sip out of the straws. She wonders why instead of happiness, she feels tendrils of jealousy curling within her.

Sam distracts her by reaching down in between them and grabbing her hand into his own. She looks over and up into his eyes, his soft and goofy smile tugging at her heart.

She smiles back but the thought crosses her mind that his hand feels too big, too rough in her own and she fights the urge to pull away.

When Sam drives her home later, he walks her to the front door. He stands there awkwardly for a moment. Kelley looks into his eyes and she knows what’s coming, so she steels herself. He takes her hands into his own and leans forward planting his lips gently onto hers. It’s not Kelley’s first kiss, but she knows this one means more than the previous pecks and kisses from dares that she has experienced.

It lasts no more than five seconds, neither moving to deepen it.

Kelley waits for the butterflies to form in her stomach.

They don’t.

Sam leans away and grins at her as he brushes hair off his forehead and says,

“I guess I’d better get going.”

Kelley doesn’t stop him.

He turns to leave, but not before smiling brightly at Kelley. That lopsided grin is stretching his face in a way she has never seen before and she can tell that he is so effortlessly happy that it makes her feel suddenly guilty. She does her best to smile back, hoping that it doesn’t come off as a grimace, but she knows then that she is not feeling the same thing that he is.

She wishes she was.

Later Christen sits across from Kelley in her room while Kelley tells her the details of her date.

“So, it sounds like you had a really good time… with Alex.” Christen says, and there is a suggestive tone in her voice that Kelley doesn’t like.

“Yeah, well, and Sam too.” She says.

“Really? Because from what you just told me I would have guessed that he wasn’t even there.” Christen says, her eyebrow jerking upward, and Kelley really doesn’t like the way she is being looked at. She wishes for a moment that her friend wasn’t so perceptive all the time.

Kelley blushes, internally deliberating whether she should tell Christen what she is feeling, wondering how it will impact the dynamic of their trio. But she trusts Christen, and she really does need some advice so she begins to express her concerns. She tells her how confusing this whole situation is, how she wishes that she could just like Sam in the way that he likes her because it would make things so much _easier_. She says that he could be the perfect guy for her, that they have so much in common, that her parents would love it if she dated him. But she just knows deep down that she will never get to that point and she’s not really sure why.

“Kelley, can I tell you something?”

“Yeah Chris?”

“You don’t need to like Sam just because it is what other people think is right.”

Kelley blushes deeply.

“You should like whoever you want, ok?”

Kelley nods in response.

“And I’ll still be your best friend no matter who it is.” Christen says looking intensely at her.

Kelley wonders if she might be a mind-reader, and she looks deep into Christen’s eyes, trying to work out if she is saying what she thinks she is saying.

They sit for a moment longer, Christen looking as if she wants to say more, Kelley not knowing what to say, so instead of letting her thoughts travel to that place that she keeps private just to herself, that part of her mind that keeps her up at night, she just leans in and wraps Christen in a hug hoping that the action will relay the words she can’t conjure.

Sam asks Kelley on another date, just the two of them.

This time she says no.

She explains to Sam that she thinks they work really well as friends, that she really likes him as a person, but not necessarily in the same way that he likes her. He smiles but it isn’t his signature grin, instead it doesn’t reach his eyes, the disappointment so very evident.

“Hey, at least I gave it a shot.” He says and shrugs his shoulders in an attempt to act nonchalant but Kelley can tell that she has hurt his feelings. Her heart twinges as he turns his back to walk away and she only hopes that their relationship will be able to return to normal.

\--

Over the following month, three things happen.

The first is that a girl in Kelley’s friend group, Julie, admits that she has a crush on Sam in a game of truth or dare. And shortly after that, the two are dating, and the awkwardness that had surrounded Sam and Kelley starts to dissipate.

The second thing that happens is that Kelley and Alex’s relationship starts to get deeper. Alex stops by Kelley’s room more days in the week than not and they talk about all sorts of things together, including, what Alex calls “boy stuff.” After their double date, Alex has gotten more comfortable talking about her relationship with Servando to Kelley. And if it makes her a little bit jealous, Kelley tells herself that it is only because she wishes she was in a relationship too.

And the third thing that happens is that Kelley realizes that she has a crush on Alex.

Well technically before that, Kelley admits to herself that she might, kind of, sort of, absolutely like girls. She doesn’t come out to anyone or anything, she just begins to accept that the secret admiration and desires she has so often pushed away aren’t something that are particularly straight.

The realization doesn’t come as much of a shock if she is completely honest. Deep down she must have already known, but perhaps the combination of kissing Sam, and Christen’s knowing words of advice helped to shed light on the previously murky concept of her sexuality.

As for her crush on Alex, the realization jumps out at her one day in late October.

It starts with two knocks on her bedroom door.

“Hey Wormy, hey Christen.”

“Hey Al—” Kelley’s words falter to a stop as she looks up at the older girl. Her throat has suddenly become so very dry. Alex is wearing a cropped red tank top and a tight red leather skirt to match, her legs looking so endlessly long and alluring. Red devil horns sit atop her perfectly straightened hair. Erin stands next to Alex in a just as revealing angel outfit.

Alex smiles at Kelley, something smug twinkling in her eye.

“You like?” She winks, and spins around to show off her costume.

All Kelley can do is gulp and nod, and she feels so comically pathetic.

“You guys look great.” Christen says, and it helps to break Kelley out of her stunned state. She looks over to Christen, who gives her an annoyingly knowing smile.

“Shouldn’t Erin be the one wearing the devil costume?” Kelley jokes, and Erin rolls her eyes.

“I would usually be annoyed by that, but I have a favor to ask you.” Erin says.

“What is it?” Kelley says cautiously. She’s been tricked by her sister before into doing things she later regretted, so she was wary of Erin’s request.

“Could you please pick us up from Tom’s Halloween party later?” She clasps her hands in front of her and pleads with her eyes.

“How late?”

“No later than midnight, I promise.” Erin says. Kelley looks between Alex and Erin.

“Please, Kel?” Alex asks. And with that, her decision is made.

“Sure, just text me the address.” Kelley caves.

Erin and Alex rush forward to hug her, expressing their gratitude before Kelley shakes them off.

Once they leave the room, Kelley catches Christen giving her a questioning look, eyebrows raised.

“What?” Kelley asks, her voice coming out a bit more defensive than intended.

“I didn’t say anything.” Christen says raising her hands as if to surrender, a small smile pulling tightly across her lips.

If Kelley’s reaction to Alex in a mini-skirt didn’t do enough to enlighten her of her crush, she would soon be made aware.

Erin and Alex come out to Kelley’s car at 12:04, a little late but not enough to annoy her. When they climb into the backseat she can immediately tell that they are drunk, if not from the way that they giggle and slur their words, the stench of alcohol does more than enough to give them away. Kelley had expected as much.

She looks back at them.

“Uber for Erin?” Erin giggles out and Kelley just rolls her eyes.

“You guys reek.” She says scrunching her nose and reaching into the glove compartment. She knows Erin keeps a jar of peanut butter there just for this reason. It’s an old trick she learned from their uncle: if your breath smells of alcohol, eat a spoonful of peanut butter, it will cover up the scent.

Once Kelley pulls into their neighborhood, Kelley asks if Alex is sleeping over.

“I’ll stay if you guys want me to.” Alex says.

“Of course, Al.” Erin says immediately.

“Kelley?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you want me to?” They connect eyes in the rearview mirror, and Kelley is struck by how bright and hopeful Alex’s are. She does her best to drag her own eyes away and back onto the road.

“I mean, sure, I don’t mind.” Kelley says, and her heart flips in her chest when she realizes that Alex cares about her opinion.

They sneak into the house, creeping silently past Kelley’s parent’s room. It’s not that their parents are very strict, but at the same time, the two senior girls didn’t really want to get caught drunk either.

Kelley retires to her room and is nearly asleep when she hears two quiet knocks on her door.

“Alex?” Kelley says as the door creaks open. She strains her eyes to see the other girl, but she can’t in the low light. She hears movement and in a few seconds feels the end of her bed dip familiarly.

“Hi.” The word is quiet, the smell of peanut butter on the other girl’s breath warm and close.

Kelley still can’t see Alex in the pitch black of her bedroom and she’s just about to reach and turn the lamp on her bedside table on when she feels Alex press a quick kiss to her cheek. It stops her in her tracks.

Kelley feels the butterflies.

And she’s so very thankful then for the darkness that hides the blush heating her face.

“Thanks for picking us up Kelley, you’re the best.” Alex says in the same quiet voice, and then just as quickly as she came in, she is leaving, slipping out the door and closing it softly behind her.

Kelley hears the click of the door and it makes her realize that she had been holding her breath.

She exhales shakily, her heart thumping loudly against her ribs and she is hit with the realization that she most definitely has a crush on Alex.

Alex, the most popular girl in school. Alex, her older sister’s best friend. Alex, her neighbor.

Alex, who has a boyfriend.

_Fuck_. She thinks.

\--

When Kelley finally realizes that she has a crush on Alex, she does her best to avoid the older girl for as long as necessary. She just can't like Alex, there are way too many complications, like the fact that Alex is Erin's best friend, and the fact that she is most definitely straight. Not to mention Kelley thinks Alex is _way_ out of her league. So she avoids her, hoping that it will help her to get over her crush. But it doesn't.

On the third day of dodging her, Alex corners Kelley as she walks out of the bathroom.

“I was looking for you. You weren’t in your room.” Alex says.

“Oh, I was in the shower.” Kelley says, and she becomes very self-conscious of the fact that she is standing with only a towel wrapped around her body. Her hair hangs limp and wet against her neck, and she resists the urge to reach up and move it, wary of any sudden motion that might expose more of her skin.

“Yeah, I can tell.” Alex smiles and her eyes slide over Kelley’s body agonizingly slowly. Kelley crosses her arms over her chest, pulling her towel a bit more tightly around her. She wishes Alex wouldn’t look at her like that, she has no idea the effect it has on her. Her cheeks begin to heat with embarrassment and she really needs to get out of this position as soon as possible.

“So, did you need something?” Kelley asks clearing her throat. Alex’s eyes flash back up to Kelley’s face.

“Oh, no, um, I just haven’t seen you in a while, thought you might be avoiding me.” She says raising her eyebrows and smiling. She says it jokingly, but it is clear to the both of them that she is trying to ask a question.

“I’ve just been hanging out more with Christen and Sam is all.”

“Sam?”

“Yeah, things are better now that he is dating Julie, I guess.” Kelley gulps and she tries to slide to the right, closer towards her bedroom, but Alex is still blocking her way.

“Oh. Right.”

Kelley shrugs her shoulders, unsure of what to say.

“Well, don’t be a stranger.” Alex says and she pats Kelley on the arm, her fingers resting on her skin for a moment too long. Kelley holds her breath.

Then just like that, Alex is disappearing into Erin’s room, leaving Kelley in the hallway in only a towel, water dripping down her neck. She exhales.

If Kelley thought she would be able to get over this, she was very badly mistaken.

\--

Kelley just can’t avoid Alex. The older girl still knocks on her door and enters as if she and Kelley are just as good of friends as she and Erin are. And Kelley can’t lie, she loves it. She loves hanging out with Alex, loves talking to her and laughing with her. And although she is constantly reminded of the crush she has, she has gotten better at hiding the way she reacts to the other girls presence. She’s careful not to stare too much when Alex enters the room, and she tries her hardest not to blush when Alex says something overly friendly to her. She’s also realized that Alex is _really_ touchy, so casual in the way that she places a hand on Kelley’s shoulder, or on her knee. And it takes every fiber of Kelley’s being not to jump at the contact, but she is learning.

Kelley becomes very good at keeping her feelings in check until one day in late February.

Kelley stands in the bathroom, brushing her teeth before she heads to bed when Alex knocks on the door and walks in. She’s sleeping over tonight, as Erin’s guest of course. Alex gets out her toothbrush and starts brushing her teeth as well.

Kelley looks at Alex through the mirror as discreetly as possible, steeling glances here and there, but it's hard to stare. Alex is wearing a blue oversized Cal t-shirt, the shorts underneath so impossibly short, her hair tied back in effortlessly cute messy bun.

It starts with a split second of eye-contact in the mirror. Kelley looks away as quickly as she can, worried that she might have been caught looking. But her eyes are drawn back to Alex’s. Alex’s mouth forms a grin around her toothbrush and she makes a funny face. Kelley snorts and crosses her eyes back. Alex laughs.

Both girls spit into the sink and Kelley reaches to put her toothbrush away.

Then Alex’s hand is on Kelley’s lower back, and she is reaching behind her. It makes the hairs on her arms stand up on end. She freezes in place.

But Alex is only pulling a hair off of Kelley’s shirt.

Kelley turns to face Alex and they are suddenly so very close, Alex’s arm still wrapped behind around her waist, her hand pressed firmly on the small of her back. Alex gazes into Kelley’s eyes merely inches away, and Kelley wonders what that look is, why her eyes are so dark. Alex reaches a hand up and tucks a strand of Kelley’s hair behind her ear, slowly, letting her hand graze softly against Kelley's cheek. Kelley holds her breath. Alex looks between both of Kelley's eyes as if she is trying to read them, and then she glances down to her lips. 

And then, Alex is leaning in, her eyes fluttering closed, the smell of minty toothpaste wafting into Kelley’s nose. Alex tilts her head to the right, and at the very last second Kelley closes her eyes too, unable to believe that the moment she has dreamed of for the past three months is finally coming to fruition. There is no way this can be happening.

But before their lips can touch, a sharp knock on the door makes both girls jerk backward.

“Kelley hurry up in there!”

It’s Erin.

Alex swings open the door and smiles at her friend

“Sorry it was me!” Alex says.

Erin looks between Alex and Kelley her eyes narrowing at her sister, and Kelley tries her best to wipe the caught-in-the-act look off of her face. She slides past Erin and darts towards her room, muttering a ‘sorry’ on her way out.

She closes her door, and climbs into bed, her heart beating widely in her chest. 

It’s only a few more minutes until she hears the two knocks she was hoping for.

She pulls her knees to her chest, trying to calm her racing pulse so as to even her voice.

“Come in.” She says, and it’s not as steady as she wants it to sound, but it’s close enough.

Alex walks in, closing the door behind her and sitting on the edge of Kelley’s bed.

The distance is too much Kelley thinks, and a pit forms in her stomach.

“Kelley.” It's a whisper, and it's soft, and it's sad.

“Alex.”

“I have a boyfriend.”

“I know.”

“And your sister is my best friend.”

“I know.”

“I didn’t mean to—”

Alex looks away and out the window.

“Ok.” Kelley’s not sure what else to say.

“Can we pretend that didn’t happen?”

It’s Kelley’s turn to look away.

“Kel?”

“I won’t tell anyone.”

“I’m sorry, Kelley.”

“Ok.”

Alex stares at her for a minute, but Kelley refuses to make eye contact. She can’t. So when she doesn’t say anything more, Alex gets up and exits the room. She pauses at the door. If Kelley had been looking, she would have seen the look on Alex’s face, would have seen the tears in her eyes. And maybe if she was looking, then things would have been different.

But she wasn’t.

\--

It feels like a break-up. Even though they weren’t even close to dating, even though they hadn’t even kissed, Kelley feels her heart being torn in two.

She leaves her door closed.

When Christen asks what is wrong for the third time, Kelley finally tells her. Christen holds her tight, and whispers that everything will be okay, and although Kelley doesn’t believe her, she thinks it’s a nice sentiment.

After two weeks of wallowing, Christen makes Kelley get out of bed.

“I got invited to an upperclassman party tonight, you me, Sam and Julie are going.”

Kelley grunts in response.

“Did you hear me, we’re going to a party tonight.”

“Who invited you to an upperclassman party, Chris?”

“A girl in my history class, Tobin.” Christen is blushing, something Kelley has never seen.

“Tobin, as in Tobin Heath on my soccer team?” She sits up, intrigued.

“Yes, I think that’s the one.” Christen’s blushes deeper. Kelley can tell that Christen really wants to go to this party by the way she looks at Kelley so hopefully, so she decided to be a good friend and agrees.

“But if we see Alex, we’re getting out of there.”

“Deal.” Christen says.

\--

The party is much busier than Kelley had expected, and it seems that all of the juniors and seniors of Star’s Mill High are crammed into Tobin Heath’s house.

Kelley, Christen, Sam and Julie walk into the party, eyes wide in awe.

After a while, their small group gets separated, Christen getting pulled away by Tobin, and Sam and Julie mysteriously disappearing to a back bedroom.

About halfway through the night, Kelley finds out that she is very good at beer pong. She also finds herself _very_ drunk. She had hoped that maybe drinking would help her to forget that Alex had almost kissed her. Forget that stupid smell of minty toothpaste. Forget Alex.

And just when she thought she might come close to forgetting, there she is across the room.

And she's just as beautiful as always.

Kelley gulps down a swig of beer and wills herself to look away. But she can’t and then Alex's eyes are on hers. 

Alex lifts her hand in a shy wave.

Kelley doesn’t wave back.

She turns away, ready to find Christen and get the hell out of this stupid party. She heads out onto the porch where she thinks she might have seen Christen with Tobin earlier. But they aren't there.

Instead, she finds an older boy, Brian Something, she thinks. He’s a popular senior on the lacrosse team, Kelley knows that much, and he’s kind of got a reputation as a player. His demeanor’s all cool and confident as he leans against the wall. He swipes a strand of jet black hair back from his face.

“Are you Erin O’Hara’s sister?” He asks.

“Yes.” Kelley nods.

“I can tell, you guys look a lot alike. You're definitely the prettier one though.” He says with a raised eyebrow, crossing his arms across his chest and Kelley can tell that he is flirting. So she decides to flirt back, because he seems nice enough in the moment, even if his smile is a bit too suggestive, even though the hand that moves to her elbow is gripping her a bit too tightly.

She flirts back because she wants to feel something that isn’t sadness for just a minute. After a few minutes of flirtatious small talk, he asks:

“Do you want to head upstairs?”

Kelley gulps, because upstairs can only mean one things, right?

Maybe it’s the alcohol talking, but she hears herself say yes. Why does it seem that she always says yes when she wants to say no?

They turn to head inside and Alex is standing there in the doorway.

“Brian, why don’t you go inside.” Alex says, her face and body stony in anger.

“Me and Kelley are kind of in the middle of something, Alex.” Brian says, he grips Kelley’s arm.

“Yeah, Alex, I’m fine.” Kelley says.

Something flashes in Alex’s eyes, and it almost makes Kelley take back her words.

“Seriously, Brian, she’s a sophomore. Go find someone your own age to hit on.” Alex says. She takes a protective step towards Kelley.

Brian looks between the two girls, and when Alex doesn’t back down, he shrugs his shoulders and heads inside.

Before Kelley can react, Alex is grabbing her by the hand and dragging her through the house and out of the party, down the street, to where her car is parked on the side of the road. She basically shoves Kelley into the passenger seat before climbing in herself.

“I’m taking you home.”

“What the hell was that, Alex?” Kelley yells out.

“What were you going to do with him?” Alex says.

“Why do you care?”

“Because, he’s two years older than you, Kelley, and you’re my younger sister’s best friend, I don’t want you to make stupid decisions with guys you don’t even know.”

“He’s the same age as you.” Kelley says incredulously, voice cracking. “And I’m not some little kid, I can look out for myself, you know.” Kelley folds her arms over her chest as Alex begins driving.

“I know you aren’t a little kid, Kel, I didn’t mean it like that. I was just looking out for you, I didn't want you to make a mistake with him. It’s just—” Alex pauses and chews her bottom lip, “I just hated the way he was looking at you.” Alex’s hands grip tighter on the steering wheel and her jealousy is so very apparent.

“Why, Alex?” She says angrily, “You have a _boyfriend,_ remember?” Kelley’s voice dips over the word ‘boyfriend’ with bitterness. Her head is spinning.

Alex doesn’t say anything just stares straight ahead. She pulls up to a stop sign.

“You don’t want me, but you get so angry when someone else does. Jesus, Alex, you are so fucking selfish.” Kelley spits out, her anger settling between them over the center console.

Kelley unbuckles her seatbelt.

Before Alex can say anything, Kelley gets out of the car. Her head is reeling. She needs air now.

“Kelley, stop.”

“No, Alex, I don’t want to be around you right now. Just leave.”

Kelley turns quickly, and suddenly she feels so very nauseous. Maybe all that alcohol wasn’t such a good idea. She stumbles toward the curb, before tripping over it, and the pavement comes flying towards her.

She leans over, her hands on her knees, and vomits into the grass.

"Kelley!"

Everything goes black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thoughts??


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

Kelley’s eyes flutter open and she can instantly tell that she is not in her room.

She sit’s up too quickly, her head is pounding. She rubs at her temple as she takes in her surroundings, the light yellow paint on the walls, the soccer trophies displayed on a shelf, the messy desk with textbooks piled high.

And through the window she can see her own house across the street.

_Alex’s room._

Memories from the previous night come rushing back.

Kelley feels sick, and it’s not just from the hangover. The thought crosses her mind that Alex must have seen her in her overly inebriated state and had taken care of her despite the fact that she had called her selfish. Despite the fact that she told her to leave.

Kelley groans and lays her head back against the pillow, crossing her arms over her face as embarrassment rushes through her.

It’s at this point that she realizes that she is wearing one of Alex’s faded old Dodgers sweatshirts. She presses the baggy sleeves to her nose, inhaling the scent of clean laundry detergent and something else that she can’t quite place.

The door opens and Alex peeks her head in.

“Hi, you’re awake.” Alex says softly. Kelley tries to read her body language but can’t quite tell what the other girl is thinking.

Kelley nods.

“Um, thanks for taking care of me last night.” She says and she hates the way her voice scrapes through her throat. She runs a hand through her tangled hair.

“Of course.” Alex steps into the room, “I thought you might want to sleep here and not have to deal with your parents asking questions.” She takes a few steps forward towards Kelley and hands over a glass of water and a bottle of Advil.

“I’m really sorry you had to do that.” Kelley says. She feels humiliated.

“Don’t worry about it.”

The silence that extends between them is so very awkward. Kelley thinks she should probably say more but she’s not sure what.

Finally, “I guess I should get going.”

Alex just stands there and looks at Kelley as if she wants to say something. But she doesn’t. She motions to Kelley’s things that are piled nicely at the end of the bed and Kelley hastily grabs them.

“Oh yeah, your sweatshirt.” She reaches to take it off before realizing she doesn’t have a shirt on underneath. Her hands hover at the hem.

“Please, keep it.” Alex says.

Kelley ducks her head when her cheeks warm in embarrassment, the thought of having Alex’s sweatshirt makes something flutter in her chest. Why does this girl have such an effect on her.

“I can walk you to the door?”

Alex’s phone buzzes and Kelley’s eyes are drawn to it. She sees Servando’s name flash across the screen and her stomach churns. Alex looks at the younger girl sheepishly.

“You can get that. I know my way out.” Kelley steps around Alex and heads towards the door. Alex doesn’t stop her.

“I’ll see you at tryouts Monday?” Alex asks, and Kelley does her best not to read too much into what she thinks is a hopeful tone.

“Yes, definitely, thanks again.” Kelley says. Even in this awkward moment, the thought of soccer can put a smile on her face.

\--

Kelley makes the team of course, she wasn’t really too worried. And to her surprise, Christen had decided to try out too and she shockingly had a good deal of natural talent, despite never having touched a soccer ball in her life.

Kelley asks Christen what finally made her decide to try out, since Kelley had been begging her to pick up the sport for their entire friendship.

Christen just shrugs her shoulders and says, “I guess you finally wore me down.”

But Kelley suspects that her sudden interest might have something to do with a certain nut-megging junior.

Even though things are weird between Alex and Kelley, once they are on the soccer field, all that awkwardness starts to fade away. It’s just that when Kelley is playing soccer, she is in a different world, so focused and concentrated and carefree all at the same time that she doesn’t really have time to worry about this Alex situation. And it seems Alex feels the same way.

They don’t really speak much off the field though. And as soon as the whistle blows, or coach calls for a water break, Kelley can’t help but be reminded of how she and Alex are no longer close.

Sometimes she think she might be over this stupid crush.

But other times she is reminded just how head over heels for this girl she is.

Like when Alex lifts up the bottom of her jersey and wipes the sweat off her face and Kelley can’t even pretend to look away from the rock hard abs staring at her. Or when Alex pats her on the back after a nice play, and Kelley wishes the contact had lasted just a second longer. Or when she overhears Alex say something funny to a teammate and she can’t stop the smile that curves on her lips. 

In those moments, Kelley thinks that she’ll never be over it.

But then, two weeks later Alex offers Kelley a ride home.

Christen usually drives her home from soccer practice when Erin has the car, but she had come down with a bad stomach bug and wasn’t at school that day. And Kelley _had_ asked Erin if she could pick her up, but she was hanging out with her boyfriend.

“Need a ride?” Alex says twirling her keys around her finger.

Kelley is sitting on the curb, clearly in need of someone to drive her home, so she feels she can’t refuse.

She nods.

“Just like old times.” Alex winks. It makes Kelley’s stomach shrink into a tiny knot.

They drive home and Alex makes easy conversation, turning up the radio when a new Taylor Swift song starts up over the speakers.

“I love this song!” Alex says.

“Me too.”

And soon they are belting out the lyrics as loud as they can, Alex tapping along off-beat on the steering wheel.

Kelley tries her hardest not to look at Alex, because she knows if she does she’ll fall all over again. But she can’t help it. She peeks.

Alex’s hair is being swept by the wind rushing through the windows of the car, and it should look ridiculous and messy and out of place, but on her it looks perfect. Her eyes are gleaming brightly as she sings and swipes a handful of loose hair behind her ear.

She looks over at Kelley and smiles, and Kelley feels her heart turn to mush.

And it's then that she _knows_ that she’s in love with the girl sitting next to her.

She wants so badly to tell Alex, to lean over and kiss her, but she can’t, so she won’t.

Because Alex doesn’t feel the same way and she probably never will.

Despite this, Kelley feels hopeful, content to be here with Alex, so happy for things to not be so tense between them. And she thinks that maybe it's ok if Alex doesn’t feel the same way. It’s better to have her in her life a little bit than it is to not have her in it at all.

Maybe just being friends is good enough.

When Alex pulls into Kelley’s driveway, Kelley hears herself ask:

“Want to come in?”

And Alex agrees.

They sit and talk and do homework on Kelley’s bed for a while, and things feel like they used to. And when Erin gets home, Alex heads off to hang out with her, but not before giving Kelley a private and promising smile over her shoulder, and it makes Kelley feel like she can do this. She can figure out how to just be friends. And even though that smile makes her stomach drop, and she misses Alex the moment she’s gone, she’s hopeful that maybe one day she’ll be able to get over this crush.

\--

Later that night Kelley hears a knock on her door.

It’s Erin.

“Hi, Kel.”

“What’s up?” Kelley says. Erin stands there for a moment.

“I just want to say I’m glad you and Alex made up. Or whatever.” Erin knots her fingers together.

“I mean, I don’t know what was going on with you two, I’m just happy that both of you are happy again.” Erin says sincerely. It’s a nice thing to hear from her sister, to know that she cares, to know that she noticed something was off.

“Me too.” Kelley says.

Kelley wonders then if her sister might know more than she lets on. She wonders if she has hidden her crush well enough, if she has hidden it all.

She wonders if it even matters.

“Erin, can I tell you something?” She definitely hadn’t planned on this happening right now but it feels like the right moment.

“Yeah?”

“I’m gay.”

Erin snorts, “Ok? Do you think that makes you special or something?”

Kelley throws a pillow at her. She should have known that she couldn’t expect a nice moment with her sister to last too long.

Erin crosses the room and wraps her sister in a hug.

“I’m just kidding. I love you, Kel. No matter what. Thank you for telling me.” Kelley exhales in relief. She hadn’t really realized that is was holding her down so much, but it feels as if a weight has been lifted off her chest.

\--

And just like that, things between Kelley and Alex have returned to normal. Those two knocks that Kelley has come to love appear on her door more and more often, and Alex has taken over Christen’s spot in taking Kelley home from soccer practice.

“I’m her neighbor it makes more sense for me to do it.” Alex rationalizes when Christen grumbles about it. But although Christen may pretend to be mad, Kelley can tell that she likes that it gives her the chance to ride home with Tobin.

Kelley’s doing her best to get over her crush, and the progress is slow, but it is something, she thinks.

Until one night early in April.

Kelley lies awake in her bed, it’s late, nearly 1 AM and for some reason she can’t sleep.

She hears two quite knocks on her door, and at first she thinks she may have imagined them, so she rolls over and wills herself to stop subconsciously thinking of Alex so much.

But then she hears the door begin to creak open, just an inch.

“Kelley?”

It’s a whisper.

Kelley looks toward the door trying to make out Alex’s shape but it’s too dark.

“Alex?” Kelley says back.

Alex steps into the room, closing the door softly behind her.

“Sorry, did I wake you?”

“No, I couldn’t sleep anyway.”

Alex crosses the room until she is standing at the edge of Kelley’s bed. She hovers there for a second and Kelley wonders if she should turn on the light.

And then Alex is lifting the corner of Kelley’s blanket

“Can I—?”

“Sure.” Kelley says and slides over to make room for Alex. She slips underneath the covers in place next to Kelley.

Her heart is hammering against her ribs and she hopes to God that Alex can’t hear it.

From what she can see in the dark, she can tell that Alex is lying on her back and if her eyes are open she would be staring straight at the ceiling. But Kelley’s eyes haven’t adjusted yet to the low light, so she can’t tell.

They are only a few inches apart, and Kelley notes that this is definitely not helping her get over her crush. She can feel the warmth of Alex’s body radiating from her, and it makes her feel warm herself.

A few minutes pass by, neither girl saying a word.

“Kel?” Alex breathes out, and it’s so very shaky, it has Kelley worried.

“Yeah?” She whispers back.

“I broke up with Servando.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Kelley tenses, _what would a friend say?_ She thinks.

“I’m sorry.” She pauses, “Why?”

Alex exhales.

She doesn’t respond for another minute, and Kelley hopes that she hasn’t crossed a line.

“He’s the perfect guy, isn't he? He’s popular, athletic, smart and _so_ good to me.” Kelley bites at the inside of her cheek, not exactly what she wants to hear.

“But?”

“But sometimes someone can be so right for you on paper, they can be what you thought you always wanted.” Alex pauses, “but they just aren’t the _right_ person.”

Kelley doesn’t speak and waits for Alex to say more.

Kelley wonders if now is her time to say how she feels, but she holds back. What kind of friend would she be if she tried to make a move on Alex the minute she finds out that she has broken up with her boyfriend? 

She wants to say _I love you._

But instead she says, “I know what you mean.”

Another long pause stretches between them.

“And it was selfish of me to be with him when I want someone else.” And it’s so very quiet that if Kelley wasn’t just two inches away, she wouldn’t have heard.

_Selfish._

The word reverberates in Kelley’s head and she wonders if it might be a sign. But she’s too afraid to hope that it is, too scared of the rejection that will come if it isn’t.

Her heart seize in her chest. She wishes so very badly that she could read Alex’s mind, that she could see her face and guess her emotions. But it’s still too dark, and Alex isn’t even looking at her anyway, still staring straight up at the ceiling.

So she says nothing.

The next pause that follows is indefinite, neither girl willing to break the silence.

And just when Kelley thinks that Alex might have fallen asleep, she hears the slightest movement underneath the blanket, and it’s Alex moving her hand, sliding it towards Kelley’s own.

Alex’s skin on her is warm when it finally connects, and it feels as if electricity has been sent up her arm. It takes a second of fumbling until Alex is holding Kelley’s pinky finger with her own, linking them together as if in some sort of silent promise.

Kelley doesn’t let go.

And although she thinks she’ll never be able to sleep with Alex’s lying next to her, with Alex’s skin on her own, she ultimately drifts off into a deep sleep, fingers latched together.

When she wakes in the morning, Alex is gone, the corner of the blanket folded over just enough to let Kelley know that last night was not just a dream.

She sighs deeply and closes her eyes, yet try as hard as she might, she can’t get Alex out of her mind.

\--

Jason asks Alex to Prom on a Thursday after their soccer practice.

Alex, Kelley, and few of their teammates are walking towards the parking lot, when they spot Jason standing by Alex’s car with a sign in one hand, a teddy bear holding a soccer ball in the other.

Jason reads off the sign: 

“Alex, it’s my _goal _to _kick _it with you at Prom.” He smiles up at her.

The girls whoop and cheer as Jason takes a step forward towards Alex.

Kelley rolls her eyes, _s_ _o cheesy_ , she thinks, and before she can hear the response, she turns on her heel, her heart full of disappointment. Of course Alex wouldn’t be on the market very long. Every single boy in this school seems to want her, and how could she blame them?

She finds Christen walking slowly from the locker room with Tobin and asks for a ride home. In the car, Kelley’s phone pings with a text.

Alex:

_Where’d you go?_

She locks her phone screen without replying.

\--

Kelley doesn’t see Alex at school the next day at all which, if she’s honest, she is kind of grateful for. She’s not sure she can face the other girl and pretend to be happy for her, not sure she can hide her disappointment.

But that doesn’t mean she isn’t looking for Alex between every passing period, isn’t staring over at her locker waiting for her to appear.

But Alex doesn’t show.

And when Kelley thinks that she will see Alex after school at soccer, Coach cancels practice allowing the girls to attend the Spring Carnival. The Spring Carnival is Peachtree City’s biggest event of the year, full of carnival games and rides, and almost everyone in town attends. 

She arrives with Christen, Sam and Julie, and she is happy to just be doing something with her friends again. It reminds her of easier times, like when she wasn’t in love with Alex, when her heart didn’t yearn for the perpetually unavailable straight girl.

After about an hour of playing games and devouring enough cotton candy to last a year, Erin spots Kelley and drags her to the line of the ferris wheel.

“Please, Kelley.” Erin begs.

“I thought you were afraid of heights?” Kelley asks, confused at her sister’s insistence.

“Just come on.”

They get in line, waiting to board the ride.

When they are set to get on, Kelley turns to say something to Erin, but instead she finds Alex standing next to her.

“Hey, Wormy.”

“Alex?” Confusion falls over her but she has no time to think about it as the operator signals for them to slide into the carriage and then he is pushing down the safety bar locking them into place.

The ferris wheel inches upward.

Kelley decides to address the elephant in the room.

“So… first the captain of the soccer team, now the captain of the football team, I’m sensing a trend, Alex.” She jokes, but she knows that the smile on her face doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

Alex doesn’t laugh. Instead:

“I turned him down.”

“What? Why?” Kelley asks, she’s shocked because Jason is probably one of the most attractive guys at Stars Mill High, one of the most popular too, it only makes sense that Alex would like him.

“You know why.” Alex says shyly.

Kelley swallows. She’s afraid to be too hopeful, she won’t believe anything until she hears Alex say it.

The ferris wheel inches up again, they’re halfway to the top.

“Kelley,” Alex sighs. She looks at her intently.

“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I told you to forget that I almost kissed you, I’m sorry that I dated Servando for so long, and mostly I’m just sorry that I didn’t tell you this earlier.” She pauses and takes a deep breath, “I really _like_ you,” She laughs, “Like in the more-than-friends kind of way.”

Kelley feels as if the wind has been knocked out of her. She can’t believe it.

Alex grabs her hand into her own.

“And I want to ask you something.”

Alex looks over the edge of their carriage, they've reached the top now. She points down at the ground.

Kelley looks down to see five people, each holding a sign above their head. On each sign is a letter spelling out a single-word question:

_P R O M ?_

Kelley looks up at Alex and smiles brightly.

“Kelley, will you go to Prom with me?” Alex asks.

“Yes.” Kelley says.

And to confirm her answer, she leans in close, pausing right before her lips reach the older girl’s. And this time they aren’t interrupted, and neither jerks away, instead Alex reaches up and places a hand softly onto Kelley’s cheek and closes the distance.

Kelley for sure feels the butterflies this time.

When they pull away, Kelley sucks in a breath of air and laughs.

“Just wait 'til Erin finds out about this”

Alex laughs, “I’m sure she’ll be fine with it. Who do you think was holding the question mark?”

When their carriage reaches the ground and they disembark the ferris wheel, Christen, Sam, Julie, Tobin, and Erin all run up to greet Alex and Kelley.

“You guys were all in on this?” Kelley asks incredulously. And they all laugh and nod and discuss how hard it was to keep the secret from Kelley.

Kelley just laughs along, content to hold Alex’s hand in her own for a while longer.

\--

Alex drives her home from the carnival and walks her up the front steps of her porch.

Alex leans in and kisses Kelley long and hard.

Then the front door opens.

“Mom!”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.” Kelley’s mother exclaims in embarrassment.

“No, I’m sorry Mrs. O’Hara.” Alex responds, she smiles. “Well, I’d better get going Kelley, I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Sure.” Kelley grins as Alex walks down the steps and towards her own house. She turns and follows her mother into the living room.

“So…” Mrs. O’Hara says.

“Alex asked me to Prom.” Kelley rushes her words out. It’s not technically how she envisioned coming out to them, but there's no going back now.

A look of shock crosses her face, but before she can say anything, Kelley’s father speaks up without looking away from the T.V.

“I always knew there was something going on between you two.”

“Dan!” Mrs. O’Hara exclaims and lightly hits her husband on the shoulder.

“What? It was obvious!” He says, clearly not seeing what the big deal is.

Mrs. O’Hara starts fretting over Kelley needing to go dress shopping and says something about having to get a corsage, and it all is a bit overwhelming to Kelley, but in the most perfect way. 

\--

The night before the dance, Alex sneaks into Kelley’s room. Two knocks, as always.

“Hi.” She says.

“Hi.”

Alex crosses the room and sits on the bed next to Kelley. She is sleeping over tonight, but not as Kelley’s guest, as Erin’s. Her parents had insisted that they not sleep in the same room though, as supportive as they might be, they wanted to have the same rules for all their children, so that meant no sleepovers with ‘romantic friends’ as Mrs. O’Hara put it.

Alex leans in and kisses Kelley.

“I just wanted to tell you how excited I am for tomorrow.”

“Me too.” Kelley says.

“I can’t wait to see you in your dress, you're going to look so gorgeous.” Alex breathes a hot breath against Kelley’s mouth in between kisses. Kelley's stomach twists.

“Please stay in here with me tonight.” Kelley begs.

“There’s no way I’m breaking your parents rules, Wormy.” Alex says, she winks and pats Kelley on the knee and heads for the door.

“See you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow.”

\--

The Prom is everything Kelley imagined it to be and more. Alex looks stunning in her long navy dress, her hair curling around her face in waves. It matches well with Kelley’s own gold dress, the one that brings out the colored flecks in her eyes. The moment Kelley sees Alex, her breath is taken away, and she can’t believe how lucky she is to spend the night with her.

Kelley thinks it might just be the most fun she has ever had.

When a slow song comes on, Alex pulls Kelley in tight, resting her hands low around her waist. Kelley lets her hands slide up the length of Alex’s arms as they sway to the soft melody of the song. She places her head on Alex’s shoulder as Alex whispers the lyrics to the song in her ear. It makes the hair on the back of her neck stand up in the most perfect way possible.

“Be my girlfriend, Kelley.” Alex whispers

Kelley pauses for a second and pulls back to look Alex in the eyes.

“But, what will Erin say?”

“I think Erin will just have to deal with it.” Alex chuckles.

“And you’re graduating in a month and moving across the country.”

“I think _we’ll_ just have to deal with it.” Alex says.

Kelley looks up to her and she can tell that she is serious.

“Kelley, I don’t care about any of those things, we can handle anything. All I know is that I want you, okay?” Alex says.

And Kelley melts.

“Ok.” Kelley leans in and captures Alex’s lips in her own. She’s had time to worry about all the _what ifs_ and to be honest it scares her. But they’ll just have to figure it out in the future. And with Alex so confident right next to her, why shouldn’t she be as well?

The song ends and the Principal starts speaking over the loud speaker. It’s time to announce the Prom King and Queen.

And of course, Alex wins, why wouldn’t she? Kelley claps and smiles proudly as her girlfriend heads to the stage to collect her title.

In that moment, Kelley is sure that no matter what comes their way, they’ll be able to handle it. She’d do anything for this girl.

Alex places the tiara on her head as the other students cheer. She looks out into the crowd directly at Kelley and gives her that private smile reserved just for her. She lifts her hand to wave at her.

Kelley waves back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved writing this, helped with my boredom during this quarantine lol. Hope you guys like it! As always, let me know what you think!

**Author's Note:**

> hit me in the comments with what you think!


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